The Hard Work of Forgiveness: ‘Exhibiting Forgiveness’ Movie Explores the Emotional Toll of Letting Go

Source: Lionsgate / Lionsgate

“Relationships are hard. They’re hard work.”

So declares Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor’s character in the 2024 film, Exhibiting Forgiveness, starring Ellis-Taylor alongside Andra Day, André Holland, and John Earl Jelks. Her words ring true and perfectly embody the overarching theme of the movie, which follows a Black visual artist Tarrell (Holland) whose path to success in the art world is derailed by an unexpected visit from his estranged father La’Ron (Jelks), a recovering crack addict who is desperate to reconcile with the son he abused and neglected, and prove that he’s not the same man he used to be.

Written and directed by Titus Kaphar in his directorial debut, the Exhibiting Forgiveness movie features some of Kaphar’s own paintings serving as a backdrop to the complicated father-son tale. But the art isn’t the only work on display. Exhibiting Forgiveness overall is a film about the hard mental, emotional, and spiritual work it takes to move forward when someone who was supposed to love you causes you pain. And as Ellis-Taylor says, that work to apologize, forgive, change and build a relationship anew is hard work.

But how do you know when it’s worth putting in that work and when it’s time to walk away? That’s the question Exhibiting Forgiveness seeks to answer.

Tarrell is pressured at every turn to make peace with his father. After Tarrell and La’Ron are unexpectedly reunited, Tarrell’s wife Aisha (played by Day) implores him to figure things out with his father or else his bad feelings will follow him wherever he goes. During a tense first conversation, La’Ron himself tells Tarrell he has to let the past go because the pain will destroy him from the inside. And Ellis-Taylor, who portrays Tarrell’s mother and facilitating the reunion between father and son, reminds Tarrell of what the Bible says about forgiveness:

“If you don’t forgive others of their past sins then you can’t be forgiven,” she says, quoting Matthew 6:15.

But Tarrell understandably struggles to reconcile with the man who abused drugs and subsequently abused his wife and son. Tarrell can’t understand the audacity of his father to even seek his forgiveness and he’s further perplexed by everyone around him insisting that he gives La’Ron another chance.

Many of us viewing the film may have felt the same frustration and confusion in our own lives when we’ve been hurt by someone who was supposed to care for us—someone we may even still feel a connection to, but also struggle to forgive for the pain they caused. And we suffer because of it. Exhibiting Forgiveness is a beautiful film where the vibrant artwork, a talented cast, stunning set pieces, and an emotional stirring score combine to immerse viewers in all the feels, it’s not exactly a feel-good movie. But that makes sense because forgiveness and reconciliation do not always feel good in real life. It’s hard to show love to someone who didn’t love you when we needed them. Exhibiting Forgiveness unflinchingly shows the anguish, confusion, and long lasting physical and mental harm that can manifest when one can’t move on from the past.

Andra Day sings in the film’s theme about “building with bricks that we were never given,” musically illustrating the sometimes miraculous effort it takes to love others even when they’ve never shown you the love you need. Exhibiting Forgiveness reminds us that forgiveness isn’t about what people did or what they deserve; practicing forgiveness is about what we deserve and we deserve relationships rooted in care, we deserve peace of mind and we deserve the freedom that comes when we move forward.

Exhibiting Forgiveness’ ending is at once tragic and triumphant, showing that forgiveness doesn’t always look like reconciliation. True forgiveness means not letting the pain of the past hurt you in the present. As Tarrell is reminded throughout the movie, showing forgiveness isn’t about the person who hurt you or making them feel better. We must forgive because it sets us free and helps us feel better. Forgiveness means putting in the work to release the pain of the past so you can find peace in your future.

And that work is always worth it.