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Want to fall in love? Try therapy.
For Niecy Nash, the secret to finding long lasting love was therapy. The actress recently revealed in an interview for BlackLove.com that embracing self love and eventually finding romantic love wouldn’t have been possible without therapy.
“It starts with therapy. Because unless you heal that trauma, you cannot choose people in your life that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated,” Nash said. “You have to treat yourself accordingly first, and then everybody else has to follow suit.”
Once Nash learned to love herself, she was better able to love others and allow herself to be loved in return. She met and married the love of her life, Jessica Betts, almost five years ago and is flourishing in the career of her dreams. But before any of that was possible, she had to learn to be the love of her own life and become her own dream girl first.
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So how does therapy actually help a person find love? Therapy offers a safe, supportive space to explore and understand yourself on a deeper level. Through a consistent relationship with a therapist, you can begin to unlock the underlying patterns and beliefs that impact your self-worth.
If you’re struggling in love and relationships, or if you’ve considered therapy but aren’t sure if it really works, therapy can help you begin your self-love journey, in the following ways:
Identify Unhealthy Patterns
A good therapist helps their client develop a deeper understanding of their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors to identify toxic or harmful patterns that cause them pain.
“Look at the decisions that you make and the partners you choose and the relationships,” Nash said of her own experience. “You look at the fruit and you say, ‘Wait a minute, if you do [love yourself], then how come these things are existing?’” In therapy, you can develop self-awareness and begin to challenge these patterns, replacing them with healthier, more nurturing habits that promote self-love and emotional well-being.
RELATED: Signs You’re Ready To See A Therapist (And How To Find The Right One)
Cultivate Coping Skills
Regular therapy sessions provide a structured environment to practice new coping skills and emotional tools such as establishing boundaries, communicating more effectively, and identifying healthier ways to respond to stress and conflict. From mindfulness exercises to cognitive-behavioral techniques and sometimes medication, therapists offer support through life’s challenges and the ongoing evolution of your character creating the foundation for lasting self-love.
Heal From Past Trauma
Every therapy session isn’t going to be feel-good fun and games. Therapy may reveal behaviors or actions we’re ashamed of or require you to discuss uncomfortable memories and trauma so you can develop strategies for loving yourself through life’s ups and downs.
Make no mistake: going to therapy is work. But the work is worth it. A therapist can help you learn to fall in love with your life. Like Niecy Nash says: “Heal because all the good things are going to come on the other side of that.”
Develop Self-Compassion
“Believe in yourself and congratulate yourself. Sometimes you’ve got to encourage what? Yourself,” Nash said about loving herself. “It’s called self-esteem ‘cause nobody got to believe it but you.”
In therapy, you can develop a sense of self esteem by learning positive self-talk, practicing self-care, and learning to accept yourself, forgive yourself, and treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and empathy, especially in hard times. Ultimately, in therapy you learn to treat yourself with love.
Self-love is a journey that leads you back to yourself and therapy can help guide your way.
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