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We typically associate grief with the loss of a loved one, but it can also manifest through the loss of a former version of yourself. As we go throughout life, we experience monumental shifts in our identity that cause us to evolve into new versions of ourselves, often influenced by a major life event, unexpected occurrences, or personal growth. Grieving an old version of yourself is a process that, though often unspoken, many experience. According to Healthline, there are five significant steps of grief that people often pass through before they make it out on the other side of acceptance. While many work to navigate these five integral steps following a loss, two additional steps have been introduced as resources to assist in the process of piecing one’s life back together while imagining a new future.
The 7 Stages of Grief
The seven steps of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, with two additional steps: reconstruction and working through, as well as acceptance and hope. While each step is inevitable, each person maneuvers their way through grief differently. There is no set time frame for how long grief will last. Through uncertainty, regret, tears, and confusion, you will eventually reach a point where you accept your new reality and embrace what’s to come with open arms. This journey is a personal one, take your time and allow yourself to feel each emotion deeply.
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Here are the 7 stages of grief and a few helpful strategies to work your way through each one.
1. Denial: Denial takes place when you have yet to accept the reality for what it is. You may still hold onto old habits and beliefs resulting in you resisting the change that is welcoming you with open arms. In order to combat the denial you may be feeling, you first must do small things to root you in the moment. Practicing mindfulness, as well as creating a new routine to follow throughout the day are two ways you can stay in the present moment while adapting to your new reality.
2. Anger: Becoming angry at the idea of losing who you once were is an emotion that deserves to be acknowledged. Recognizing and accepting your anger is a natural part of the grieving process, but there are healthy ways to tackle the strong emotions you’re releasing. Staying physically active and practicing relaxation methods can help release your feelings of anger, while expressing your emotions and reframing your perspective on life are two emotionally healthy alternatives to changing the way you think and stepping outside of those heavy emotions.
3. Bargaining: Our minds love to play tricks on us, especially during the bargaining phase of grief. During this phase you may wish that you could go back to how things were previously. Not quite in denial, but teetering on the edge of what’s reality and what’s not. Setting realistic goals and focusing on accepting the reality for what it is are two supportive tactics that will assist in helping you grow and continue to move forward.
4. Depression: Throughout this stage you will experience a deep sense of sadness and emotions. Seeking help and guidance through talking with someone who doesn’t mind lending an ear can assist in adding some fulfillment to the sense of emptiness you may be feeling.
5. Acceptance: The fifth and final step is the one that allows you to finally come to terms with the new version of yourself. While acceptance takes time, making it to this stage is no small feat and doesn’t necessarily mean that your grief journey is entirely over. The journey of grieving oneself takes time and is ever evolving.
6-7. Reconstruction and Working Through/Acceptance and Hope: Although these additional two stages of grief are not always recognized in the same manner as the original five, they each play a huge role in both moving forward and learning to heal while still taking the necessary time to rebuild and create a new life ahead.
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