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What do Lenny Kravitz, Yvonne Orji, and Russell Wilson have in common? They’ve all practiced celibacy! Kravitz has been celibate for nearly a decade, Orji has been open about her virginity, and Wilson and his current wife, Ciara, made the choice to abstain until marriage.
Many celebrities as well as regular, degular folks have been open about their sexual journeys including the decision not to engage in sex at all. Whether they’re waiting until marriage or just taking a break, some have claimed that not having sex has helped their mental health, helped them feel more spiritually aligned, and increased their focus and their creativity.
But is it true that abstaining can have any mental or physical benefits?
Science says yes!
There can be many practical benefits to abstaining. There’s a lowered risk of contracting STIs or becoming pregnant. There’s also less need to spend money on birth control like condoms. Studies show celibacy can also lower stress. For some people, celibacy helps them feel more in control of their lives and therefore, more empowered. Abstaining from sex frees up a lot of time—time that can be spent focusing on career, school, or emotional needs.
“It was no longer a focus,” singer Mya explained in an interview on the Way Up with Angela Yee show about her decision to stop having sex for a while. “The rush to be in a relationship, the rush to be married, the rush to … have kids or procreate … I have to start with self [love] always, versus expecting from other sources.” There are studies that show that couples experience a deeper sense of intimacy and emotional connection after abstaining.
Celibacy can also come with a deep sense of satisfaction at having done something that took immense mental and physical strength. Omarion, when speaking about his three-year journey into celibacy, said that learning to discipline himself made him feel unstoppable.
“I just found myself in that position of wanting to understand my energy and give myself time to grow. And also I knew that if I could control two areas of my life, which is food and the urge of sex, then nothing can stop me,” he said in an interview on André Duqum’s Know Thyself podcast.
There may even be something to the spiritual benefits of abstaining. Monks who practice celibacy say that it’s essential to staying on their spiritual path. Those who practice celibacy for religious reasons may feel a closer connection with God. The level of patience and discipline it takes to abstain leads to people feeling more self-aware and self-compassionate. Those who are healing from sexual trauma also find refuge in the act of choosing to abstain.
Abstaining can also have a negative effect on the brain and body. Some people may be practicing celibacy because there are underlying physical conditions like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation that prevents them from engaging in regular sex. There are also people who want to have a sexual partner but cannot find one (they often refer to themselves as “incels”). Those who are celibate when they don’t want to be often report feelings of low self-esteem.
Not having sex while currently in a relationship can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. Research also shows that having relations regularly can reduce blood pressure, improve the immune system, and lower the risk of cardiovascular issues, so abstaining means also leaving those benefits on the table. …or rather, in the bed.
At the end of the day, choosing to abstain from sex is just that: a choice, and a personal one at that. Some people decide to have sex while others choose to wait or to stop having sex after they’ve started. Choosing when (or when not to) do it is a private, personal decision. Regardless of the benefits, there is no right or wrong amount of sex to have. It’s totally up to you!
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The post Is Celibacy Good for Your Mental Health? appeared first on Get Up! Mornings With Erica Campbell.